A Simple Crush
by kaitlin.perkins42
Summary: I'm rewriting this story chapter by chapter. Hope you enjoy the new style; plot is still the same! "Remus has a not so simple crush on Sirius, and worries his feelings might not be reciprocated." Warnings: Slash. Rated M for future chapters.
1. And Then There was Remus

Title: And Then There was Remus...  
Rating: M (for later chapters)  
Disclaimer: Not stealing. Just borrowing. Not making any money, I promise.  
A/N: This is a remake of Chapter 1 of "A Simple Crush". I will redo the follow chapter ASAP. Enjoy:)

* * *

Remus tossed his last book into his trunk and attempted to shut the lid, sitting on it and grunting with the effort. To many books filled it past its brim, and the boy's small frame didn't give much weight in assistance to closing it. "Honey!" His mom's syrupy voice trailed up the stairs, "James and Sirius will be here any moment. You'd best hurry!" Sirius...Black hair covering one of his eyes in his mysterious way, his unique, musky scent and the way it clung to girls after he took them to bed. Remus' stomach churned as he replied to his mother, some instinctive reply that had been programmed into his brain. As soon as the words tumbled out of the mouth, he grabbed one of the handles on his heavy trunk, and began to drag it down the hallway, leaving faint impressions in the carpet.

"Mum! Mum!" She walked to the bottom of the stairs and smiled up to him, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Yes, honey?"

"I need your help with this; I can't carry it down all by myself. I have too many books."

Pulling her wand out of a fold in her apron, she wrapped one arm around her teenage boy, budding with puberty, and levitated the trunk. Together they walked it down the stairs, and at the bottom she set it down gently for him. "Darling?!" She called for her husband and headed into the kitchen, looking for him. "Can you please help Remus load his trunk into the car? It's heavier this year than last."

"Yup." His monosyllabic father walked into the foyer, grinning at Remus. Ruffling his son's hair, he too pulled out a wand and levitated the trunk outside, carrying it to the open boot of the car, and dropped it inside. "There you are."

Remus' father, though he spoke little, was very affectionate with his family. Remus remembered the morning his father had found him, bitten by a werewolf, bleeding heavily from a gash that went almost all the way 'round his abdomen. The family had been camping and late in the middle of the night (or early in the morning, depending on your point of view), young Remus had needed to use the washroom. Not wanting to wait his parents, he went by himself, and had suffered a horrific bite. He feared his parents would hate him for what he was. But his father and mother loved him regardless of the bite. They took him to a family friend who assisted in healing the wound, but advised them against going to St. Mungo's for further treatment. Werewolves were often "euthanized".

Remus leaned on the side of their yellow vehicle, tugging on his too small sweater vest and brushed the hair out of his face. His dad grinned at him before heading back inside to finish his breakfast. Remus did not think he could ingest any food. He didn't really understand why he got so nervous before he saw Sirius every year; he lived with him for almost 10 months of it. A small pop shocked him out of his reverie, and three people were smirking at him. Mr. Potter, James, and Sirius were all standing in front of him. James smacked a hand on his shoulder. "Hey mate, didn't expect to find you here."

"Well Remus," Mr. Potter interrupted, "I'm sorry but I've got to run. Tell your parents that Mrs. Potter and I really appreciate them giving the boys a lift to the station."

"Yes, of course." Remus nodded and watched Mr. Potter disappear.

"Oh, was that your father James? I'm sorry I missed him." Remus' mother had just jogged out of the house at the sound of voices, and she was taking her apron off, folding it deftly between her hands. "I meant to tell him to thank your mother for that book she sent me, it was a wonderful read."

"I'm sure you'll see them soon, Mrs. Lupin. They just love your cooking," James nodded at her.

"Oh, they're too kind." She turned and headed back into the house, calling her husband. "The boys are here. It's time to go!"

When the Lupins came back out, both of them had on their driving coats, and Mrs. Lupin wore her gloves (which James had always been peculiarly fond of). Everyone climbed into the car, the three boys wedged into the back seat. Remus was squashed into the smallest. James and Sirius insisted he was the smallest, but he was sure his legs were longer. He felt weight coming from Sirius' side, heat against his thigh, pressing through his trousers.

After what seemed like far too long a drive, they arrived at the train station. The boys all went and retrieved trolleys for themselves as Remus' parents unloaded the trunks from the vehicle. Once they had situated themselves and the car had been parked, the group of five went in the station and inconspicuously walked through a wall. Platform 9 ¾ always looked like the entrance to Remus' home away from home. He felt warmth spread over his chest when he saw the scarlet engine. His mother kissed the crown of his head. "Bye honey, be sure to write." She ran her hand over the back of the head to his neck before turning to James and Sirius to give them a loving goodbye.

His father embraced him tightly. "We'll see you for Christmas. Try to behave. I know that Potter kid is a bad influence." He joked loud enough that both James and Sirius would hear him.

"Sirius helps!" James barked out before the whistle of the train cut him off.

"You boys better go!" Remus' mom waved them off, beaming at them. They left their trunks by the side of the train; someone always seemed to take them somewhere. After finding an empty compartment, they leaned out the window (the three of them barely fitting their heads out of the opening) and waved goodbye to Remus' parents. They continued to wave until Mr. and Mrs. Lupin disappeared.

Remus took a seat and Sirius flopped down next to him, smirking. "What did you do this summer?"

"Not much," came the sad, only slightly honest reply. Remus' parents always took him somewhere beautiful over the holidays, though it was rare that they could afford to stay long. Having a werewolf for a son took a monetary toll on the family. They were always buying him new clothes, and experimenting with new "miracle cures" – which often turned out just to give Remus a stomach ache. This summer they had vacationed in Greece, staying with Remus' Aunt Lidiya. They stayed for two weeks, and Remus had enjoyed the villa they were at, but the sea salt altered his senses slightly, and when he had transformed at home, the werewolf was disillusioned and frightened. "What about you two?"

"Oh, you know, the usual mess." Sirius tried to get out over James' loud "NOTHING!"

"Well, that doesn't sound like nothing to me," Remus frowned, feeling left out.

Sirius threw Remus his " I'll-tell-you-when-James-isn't-here" look. Remus nodded, and tried to be consoled, but he couldn't help but feel left out. True, there were 4 Marauders, but sometimes it felt like there were only two, and Peter and Remus were extra spokes on the wheel. Speaking of the fourth Marauder...

A mousy boy poked his round nose into their compartment, his entire, rotund form following it. "Oy, Pete! Come on in!" James was the first to notice him, patting the seat next to himself so Peter would come join them.

"How was your summer?" James asked him, watching Peter throw a small bag overhead before he sat.

"Yeah, Peter, why don't you tell us all about the excitement?" Sirius spoke with disinterest as he picked at his nails. He looked up, saw Remus and James glaring at him, and grinned shamefacedly.

"Um, well, my mum took me to that place where muggles fly..."

"You mean an airport?" Sirius tried not to sound like a prat, but knew he didn't quite accomplish his goal when he received another glare from Remus.

"Yeah, an airport. And we went to the United States. You know, the birds there aren't too bad looking."

"I'm sure you took home a few." At this Remus smacked Sirius' thigh, before quickly withdrawing his hand and turning almost as red as Peter.

The four boys sat in an awkward silence for a moment before James' eyes lit up. "Moony, aren't you a prefect? You're not supposed to be here!"

"No, I'm not this year...I was _last _year. I guess they noticed I wasn't keeping you gits in place, and changed their minds."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Hey, Prongs, look who just walked by!" He wiggled his eyebrows in what he hoped was a suggestive gesture.

"Who?"

"Evans, you dolt!"

James jumped out of his chair as though he had been poked with something burning, smashed his head on the overhead bin, and raced out of the compartment rubbing his head.

"She did not walk by," Remus admonished Sirius.

"I wanted to tell you what happened this summer, but if you don't want to know..."

"Don't be daft, go on, tell me." Remus moved closer to Sirius, neither of them noticing Peter watching them with rapt attention.

Sirius attempted to make a serious face, "This summer, James and I broke into a muggle liquor store. Just to see what it was like, you know? Anyways, we got caught, of course, without anything in our hands, even. But we ended up spending a night in the muggle jail before we could call his mum. His dad wasn't too happy with us."

Remus rolled his eyes and backed up a bit. "That's your big secret?"

Reclining, Sirius smiled at him, "James thinks we were so stupid. He let his dad get to him. So now he's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to know."

Peter chuckled, but remained unnoticed.

"Fancy a game of chess while we wait?" Sirius was already reaching for the game.

Remus nodded, brushing some hair out of his eyes. He noticed Peter staring at Sirius' arse and almost shot him an angry look before he remembered that Sirius wasn't anyone's property, least of all, his. Besides, it wasn't like Sirius would bugger Peter anyway.

"Did you finish all of your homework?" Remus asked Sirius as the boy set up the game.

"Do I ever?" the raven haired boy asked incredulously before handing a sack of game pieces to Remus, who opened it.

The queen was sitting at the top, "Oh no! Not this lout again," she groaned in a very prestigious voice, and Remus smirked at her before pouring the lot onto the board. "You've given me the set that despises me, haven't you? You always do that."

Sirius grinned sheepishly and then laughed. "It's so much fun to see you try to get them to move."


	2. Tuck In

Title: Tuck In   
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Any of the characters you recognize belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing with them. Not profit is being made and I have no money so please don't sue me.

* * *

The ride to the school had been uneventful. After James came back to the compartment, looking sullen and told everyone to bugger off, they all changed into their robes and stared out the windows until the towering castle that was Hogwarts appeared in the distance. Remus thought of the scaly horses that pulled the carriages, tossing gaunt heads back and forth, greasy manes floating through the air. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else, those animals, for some reason, made him feel uneasy. Sirius however thought they were awesome and was even more intrigued by the fact the James and Peter could not see them.

The boys walked through a light wind, dusk setting on them, toward the black carriages. Remus turned tentatively to Sirius, "Don't they ever remind you of a funeral procession?"

Sirius thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, "Maybe a really old one I guess." He waited for Remus to climb into the car before scrambling in after him and sitting on the warm cushion next to him. His hand strayed momentarily to Remus' thigh before the other two boys jumped in, and slammed the door. The carriage moved promptly, swaying slightly at first. Sirius moved his hand, and, Remus, his face burning, leaned against the cooler window and watched the sun going down.

They walked through the Great Hall, sighing and pushing their warm cloaks off their shoulders before walking into the Dining Hall. The golden plates shimmered on the table, teasing Remus' empty stomach. He groaned and the four boys sat in their usual position, center of the Gryffindor table. He picked up a goblet and glanced into the bottom of it before looking at the head table. Professor Dumbledore was sitting in the Headmaster's chair. He elbowed Sirius in the ribs, "Guess he did get it then?" Sirius nodded, staring at a shapely Ravenclaw girl.

Suddenly, Remus' insides swelled with an urgent emotion. He grasped his stomach and let a small yelp. His stomach, empty as it were, was doing flip flops and turns while knotting itself. James looked at him in concern, "What's wrong Moony? It's a week before the moon." Remus sat up with great difficulty and failed at forcing a smile, "Nothing, nothing's wrong."

He rubbed his stomach just as the first years started to file in. They were led by Ogg, the ground's keeper. Next to him was a young man who was much broader and taller than he. Remus touched his arm as he walked by and the boy turned around, "Hey, Hagrid!"

The boy waved genially before moving on. The first years gathered in a little clump near the Head table and watched as Professor McGonagall set down a wooden, three legged stool. It wobbled slightly before she set a tattered hat on it. Slowly the rip opened, at though the hat were yawning through it. It stretched its tear/mouth and opened wide before emitting a noise.

_  
Students young  
__Teachers old  
__Listen while I speak  
__Hear what I behold  
_

_There's trouble in east  
__Trouble in west  
__If you are to quell the beast  
__You must do your best_

_Band together  
__Stay strong  
__Let your houses bond  
__In this you can't go wrong_

_Now sit under me  
__Let me decide  
__Where you may be  
__For the rest of your Hogwarts ride  
_

It closed its mouth and was silent. Suddenly, Professor McGonagall unrolled a sheaf of parchment and started saying names. One by one trembling first years mounted the stool and placed the hat their heads. It would scream out their houses at random intervals.

Remus recalled when he was placed in Gryffindor.

_The hat was put on his head and it suddenly whispered to him, "How would you feel about Ravenclaw? You're very smart you know. You could do it." Remus shook his head violently. "No?" It almost seemed to be teasing him, "Where then?" Remus thought. He remembered those two boys who had befriended him on the train. They had been sorted into Gryffindor. "Gryffindor." He whispered it, almost silently. He thought it loudly. Suddenly, the hat screamed out, "GRYFFINDOR!" He took the hat off and raced to sit next to his two new friends at the table. "Good job, mate," the one in glasses slapped him on the back._

Coming back from his reverie, Remus realized the sorting itself had just adjourned. Professor Dumbledore stood as Professor McGonagall walked to stool to the back of the hall.

"As you can all tell," their new Headmaster addressed them, "I have replaced Professor Dippit. I am sad to say he died in an extraordinary Muggle accident this summer, a roller coaster, if you've ever heard of one. I will not keep you from your feast. So I have two more words for you, Tuck In."

Sirius raised his fork in assent and all the boys began dishing food onto their plates, subsequently shoveling it into their mouths.


	3. Good Nights and Scars

Title: Good Nights and Scars  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not pretending they are and definitely not earning money!

* * *

"Evans! Oy, Evans!" Sirius waved his hand frantically, trying to get Lily's attention. 

"Sirius, what is it that you want?" Remus narrowed his eyes and pulled Sirius' hand down out of the air.

"Just the password," he raised an eyebrow.

"I'll go and get it from her," Remus dropped his friend's hand and walked towards the red head, who was animatedly chatting with another girl. He stopped for a moment and she turned around, laughed a little bit and then said something to him. She shot him a dazzling smile before turning back to her friend and talking some more.

Remus jogged up to his friend, grinning a little, "She said I'm not supposed to tell you."

"What?! Remus, you're our mate, not hers!" James protested.

"I'm hers as well, you know." His arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes, we know. But we're the _Marauders_. C'mon mate, you've got to tell us."

"Ok, fine, but don't tell her I told you." He leaned over, whispered in James' ear, then Sirius. Sirius felt his palms start to sweat, but said nothing. As soon as Remus backed up, the boy was back to grinning that stupid, lopsided smirk. They all walked up the stairs, Peter included, before whispering the password to a very confused, pink fat lady. The boys ran up to their dormitory, Frank Longbottom in their wake.

Remus threw himself onto his bed, ripping his hangings shut. Suddenly, a finger poked inside. There was a tiny little face drawn on it, still dripping wet ink.

"Remus John Lupin," squeaked a high, falsetto voice, "You stop hiding this moment, your friends are outside!"

Remus grabbed the finger and yanked it, its owner falling onto the bed. Sirius was staring up at him from his lap. "Jeeze mate, no need to get violent." He was smirking up at Remus in a bemused sort of way.

"Sirius Orion Black," Remus teased, poking his friend's forehead, "I am transforming in four days, I need my rest. I promise you and I am not hiding. If you would prefer, you could kip out in here?"

"No, I think that's alright."

Remus smiled, a little relieved. And, noting this, Sirius' face sobered. "You don't want me here?"

"What?" Remus' eyes widened, "Of course I do! Of course!"

"Then maybe I _will _kip here," he raised an eyebrow, watching a shaking Remus push hair nervously out of his face.

"Alright. Sure."

"Mk. I'll be back. See you later, Moony." With that, he rose out of Remus' lap and toppled out from the hangings. As Remus tugged off his trousers and sweater, he heard muffled voiced outside his bed. His hand reached out, searching for his trunk to grab pajamas and suddenly, he was tugged on

"Wah!" As he fell, hitting the trunk, he wrapped his arms around his torso. "Padfoot!" He tried to scramble back into bed, but Sirius grabbed his boxers.

"Stop it, Sirius!"

He tried to grab at the waistband as his underwear slowly slipped off his hips. Finally, James grabbed Sirius' wrist, "Let him go, Pads."

James bent and creaked open Remus' trunk, pulled out a pair of soft pajama pants and dropped them inside of the hangings.

A quiet, shaking voice came from inside, "Could I have a shirt, too, please?" The boys heard him sniff.

James moved to hand it to him, but Sirius stopped him. "I'll give it to him." James nodded and walked towards peter and Frank, who were sniggering, flipping through a Playwizard magazine.

He heard Sirius climb under the hangings, then Remus' pleading, "Please, Sirius, just leave me alone."

Inside the scarlet hangings, Remus had fanned his hands over his chest, trying to cover up what he could. "Please, just go away..."

"I told you I was kipping out here tonight, I wasn't lying. Here's your shirt." He held out a slightly worn, brown t0shirt. Remus took it and held it in front of himself.

"Turn around?"

"Why?"

"I don't want you to see me."

"I already have."

Sirius reached over slowly and pulled Remus' hands down. His mouth fell open, "So many scars..." he traced his hand over a recent one before looking up, realizing Remus was silently crying.

"Siri, why'd you pull me out there?" he blinked thick tears out of his eyes, leaning back on one of his hands.

"I dunno," Sirius looked at his palms, fisted his hands, "I thought it'd be funny."

Remus shook his head, "It wasn't."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He put a hand on his friend's face to wipe away the tears, but Remus swiped at him. "You don't understand!" he suddenly burst out. "You don't know how awful it is! All of me is covered in scars!"

Remus started to pull his pants of, Sirius put a hand out to stop him, "It's ok Moony! I believe you!"

But Remus ripped off his pants, and with his entire body bare, Sirius could see. Scars criss-crossed over his lower abdomen and thighs, one particularly terrible wound seemed to start at his hip and spiral down his legs all the way to his ankle.

"Oh, Remus..."

"You don't know! You guys can run around in your shorts," he rolled over as Sirius prodded him, exposing his back, "but you'd stare at me if I did," he said, his hands resting on his folded arms.

His tense back relaxed a little as Sirius brushed tawny hair out of the way, nimble fingers trailing over his skin, just stopping past the appropriate place.

Remus shivered, felt something warm cover his lower half. He turned his head, Sirius was slipping his shirt off. He buckle clinked as he undid it, then slipped off his pants. He then climbed under the duvet, which he had covered Remus with.

Remus wiped under his eyes, sniffled and drover his face into Sirius' neck. Sirius wrapped his arms around his friend's shoulders.

Suddenly, James popped his head in. Remus shrieked and jumped under the comforter.

Smiling coyly, James dropped to sheaves of parchment on them. "Sorry to interrupt your intimate moment, boys, but McGonagall just dropped of your schedules." He popped his head back out, still griming.

Sirius sat up and grabbed the sheets of paper, handed one to a red Remus, and scanned over his own.

"What've you go first thing tomorrow?" Sirius asked nonchalantly.

"Uh...potions," Remus glanced at the paper before his eyes flicked back up, "Look, Sirius? People won't think we're, you know...fairies now, will they?"

"What if I _am _gay, Remus?"

"But you're...you're not. You're always looking at girls when they're out...with their boyfriends." He realized what he had said, and his eyes widened, "Seriously?" He blinked for a moment, watched as Sirius nodded his head. "You're never scared to tell someone something, are you, Pads?"

Sirius barked a laugh, "Are you kidding me?!"

Remus shook his head.

"I'm not the one who just ripped my pants off, Moony!"

Remus chuckled shyly and settled back down, "What about you? What do you have first?"

"Potions."

------------------------

Remus woke first, put on his uniform and went to brush his teeth. In the mirror, he looked no different. A tawny haired, petite boy, hair ruffled by sleep. He yawned and ran his hand through his hair in a vain attempt to flatten it.

Frank walked in, yawning, and stood at the sink next to Remus. "Have a good night, last night, Remy?"


	4. Not Right Now

Title: Not Right Now  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters belong to J.K.R. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

"Last night?" Remus tried to act cool, but he was finding it quite difficult. He glanced at Frank from his mirror, briefly making eye contact, before looking in the sink, rinsing away the spit from brushing his teeth.

"Yeah, we were up 'till about 3 am, and Sirius _never _went back to bed."

"Um..." Remus shifted his weight uncomfortably and grinned shyly, "We were just sleeping."

"Mhm. That's why your pants are on the floor?"

"I changed! Look it me!" He gestured up and down his body frantically _They can't know...they can't know I like him._

"Sure, Remy. Just calm down, it's not like we'll tell anyone. We're your mates, remember?" He slung an arm around Remus' shoulders. Flustered and embarrassed, Remus threw him off.

"There's nothing to not tell!" He picked up his toothbrush and stormed out, leaving a very confused Frank Longbottom staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Remus slammed the door to the dormitory, ignoring the angry grunts of three boys, and flew over to his bed. He threw his toothbrush onto his nightstand and ripped back the hangings.

"Sirius! Sirius! Get up!"

Sirius rolled over to face his friend and rubbed his eyes with fisted hands. "What is it, Moony? We late for class?"

"No! I want you to get up right now and go in there," he pointed to the bathroom, "And tell Frank exactly what did _not _happen last night!" Remus was so hurt, he was shaking.

"What do you want me to tell him _didn't _happen, Moony?" Sirius swung his legs around, so he was facing Remus. His paw print boxers were all that he wore and despite the situation, Remus found it _extremely _hard not to look.

"Tell him...he thinks...he thought we...we didn't shag last night!"

"No..." Sirius shook his head, confirming Remus' jumbled statement.

"Well tell him that! He thinks we did!"

Sirius stood up, and walked over to his bed, next to James who had fallen back asleep after he saw it was just Remus yelling. He pulled a pair of pants out of his trunk and started to pull them on.

Forgetting himself, Remus walked over and grabbed the pants. "Don't wear these, they're all wrinkled, wear these ones." He pulled out another pair and handed them to a smirking Sirius.

"Sometimes, you act so much like a woman, Moony. Why don't you just tell Frank we didn't shag?" he asked as he tugged on the slacks

"I did!" Remus sighed, exasperated. "He didn't believe me."

Sirius snapped his trunk shut, his tie and shirt held between his teeth, "Fit dawn, Moony."

"Huh?" Remus looked at him, his eyes wide.

Sirius pointed at his trunk then pulled his clothes out of his mouth. "I said, 'Sit down'."

"Oh." Remus fell onto the trunk, glanced out the window.

"I'll go talk to him, ok? You've just gotta breathe, mate."

Remus nodded and Sirius walked away, his heart breaking more than just a little.

-------------------------------

The rest of the day went by quite uneventfully, unless one were to count Sirius' sullen mood, which really was shocking to everyone, except James, because Sirius loved Hogwarts so much more than being stuck at him with his crazy mum.

James, however, had not gone to sleep that morning, but had pretended to, listening to the entire exchange between his mates. And he realized, then, that Sirius was in love with Remus. He just couldn't tell if his best friend's feelings were reciprocated, or not. And it seemed to James that his friend couldn't tell, either.

After potions, all of the boys were heading towards Care of Magical Creatures when James pulled Sirius to the side, "Hey, Mate, wanna go to Hogsmead today and steal a couple o' drinks?"

Sirius shook his head sadly. "Not today. Not right now, James."

And James knew then that Sirius' heart was slowly breaking, ripping itself apart. The same feeling James had everytime Lily turned him down. And he resolved himself to do something, to save his friend from his fate.

"Moony. Oy! Moony!"

Remus fell back to where James and Sirius were walking. "Yeah?"

"Do you love Sirius?"

Remus blanched. "I'm sorry. What?"

Sirius was looking on hopefully. He didn't seem to care that he looked like a starving dog waiting for his first meal in weeks.

"Do. You. Love. Sirius?"

"Um..."

"I mean, it only makes sense," James continued, slinging his arms around the other boys' shoulders, "You got naked with him last night and all."

Remus blushed.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Just tell me and Sirius."

Remus voice was low, as though he didn't want anyone to hear him, "But what if Sirius doesn't love me back?"


End file.
